Monday, February 18, 2013

Gender, Courtship and Marriage


Raden Ajeng Kartini 1879-1904
 The Indonesian language does not reflect ‘gender’ difference between ‘she’ and ‘he’; there is only one pronoun ‘dia’ for addressing both boys and girls, men and women. That denotes equality between boys and girls, men and women, but how equal? However, before Raden Ajeng Kartini, the National heroin was born on 21 April 1879 in Rembang, East Java, there was a vivid discrimination between boys and girls in term of schooling. Only boys were expected going to school while the girls should stay at home to help their parents until they were ready to get married. Raden Ajeng Kartini advocated the right of the girls so that both boys and girls were allowed to go to school equally. She was successful in bringing light to the girls. Her collected letters was published under the title “Habis Gelap Terbitlah Terang” literally means “There is Light after the Darkness”. After her hard advocacy, there was an equal right for boys and girls for going to schools. Nowadays, the government supports education for boys and girls equally as long as the parents can support the education of their children or as long as the children have strong will to get education. Government also offers scholarship for those who are bright but have no funding for going to school.


Before the modernization and globalization influenced Indonesian society through direct and indirect contact with the western society, Indonesia has had its own characteristic for marriages and courtships. Indonesia is very in culture and customs. Each ethnic has its customs of marriages.  In the past, the arranged marriages were very common where the boy or the girl did not have their own choice of marriage. The boys and the girls got married relatively in a very young age. The main reason for the arranged marriage is to maintain the family status, to gain political power or wealth. Arranged marriage is common in Balinese and Javanese society. As soon as the girls have their period, the parents considered them as a ready woman for a marriage. The parents would arrange a marriage to the man of higher status. If the girl is beautiful enough, it is so easy for her to a concubine or to be second or third wife of a rich man. It was very common that the arranged marriage was not an arranged marriage but instead there was a forced marriages where the girl must marry a much older man to pay off the debt of her parents, as reflected in the Literature of Siti Nurbaya by Marah Roesli. The most common way of marriage is where the girl follows the husband wherever he may be, and wherever he works. But in some societies like the Minangkabau tribe in Sumatra, the man married into the woman’s family, although after marriage the man has freedom to find a job away from his hometown.



Pinang or meminang is an Indonesian word for proposing a girl in a patrilineal ethnic customs. After the two families agreed with the arranged marriage of the two children, then the family of the man will announce the date of meminang. The root of the word meminang is ‘pinang’ the areca nut. In most parts of the Indonesian archipelago, the procedure of proposing a bride including pinang areca as the official ceremony while the two families meet together in the bride’s home. Pinang is a crucial ingredient in chewing bettle-nuts. In the rural regions of Indonesian society inviting people to come by for having bettle-nuts is very common. Usually people accept the invitation of having bettle-nuts any time of the day as a symbol of warm, friendships. In Sumba, for example, during the wedding day, all the guests are offered to have a ready-chewed-bettle-nut before the real ceremony begins. Since it produces red spit, therefore while serving bettle-nuts they also prepare a container for spitting their red spit. After the pinangan is accepted by the bride’s family then the bride’s status will be legally in the bridegroom family. The elaborate ceremony according to the adat law soon will be performed in the bridegroom’s house. In Bali, the adat wedding is much more important than getting a marriage certificate. Only recently by the late of 1990s because of the official purposes the new couples obtain their marriage certificate in the Kantor Catatan Civil. The main purpose of a marriage is to produce children who will continue the duty of the parents, sexual pleasure is only a bonus for making babies. Before the government program called KB (Keluarga Berencana) or Family Planning a couple could have many children between 5 or 12 children. Nowadays, the two-children-enough program recommended by the Indonesian government. The government even supports only three children for the civil servants, the rest should be the responsibility of the family.

the marriage couple in full traditional Balinese costumes 

Indonesia has developed rapidly after its independent in 1945 after three and a half century colonized by the Dutch. The tourists, western scholars, anthropologists started coming to Indonesia and studied deeply about the ethnic Indonesians. On the other hand, Indonesian also travel world wide and when they come back home they will introduce foreign culture and customs to their homeland consciously or unconsciously. In the tourist areas, the direct contact with foreigners also plays determined roles in changing or to lessen the traditional values. Therefore the arrange marriage is not the only way of building a new household, because now what we call a romantic or a love marriage has been familiar to the youth of Indonesia. Modern devices for communications or getting an access to the most non-traditional customs of the Indonesian archipelago are available in the urban society. Kissing, hugging in public is no longer considered taboo by the young generation. For more radical people living together before legally getting married is considered normal nowadays to ensure that they will have children to continue the generation.


Friday, February 15, 2013

Death, Burial and Afterlife


 

The cremation towers are carried toward the final destination in the cremation ground
 
Before describing Death, Burial and Afterlife in Indonesia, it is necessary to provide the background of the influences of foreign religious aspects into the archipelago. Before the penetration of Hinduism and Buddhism to the archipelago (Indonesia), it is believed that the ancient Indonesian had held their own belief and traditions. They believed in the spirits of their ancestors and animistic spirits where the large trees, rocks were also having spirits both benevolent and malevolent depending on how they treat them. Both Hinduism and Buddhism introduced a new tradition to the archipelago in the beginning of the millennium of the Common Era which coined amalgamation unique culture and traditions. The first written evidence of the Indian influence was found the Kutai areas in East Kalimantan. There were seven Vedic sacrificial posts with the Pallava scripts and Sanskrit language found the Kutai area which dated around 450th CE. 

The Hindu’s influence continued to spread to the other islands in the archipelago wherein half a century later in 500th CE, there were some inscriptions found in the West Java area which depicted the king of the Tarumanagara kingdom was like the Hindu God who protected the world. This western Javanese kingdom seemed did not last for too long, because in 7th century CE, the Central Javanese kingdoms emerged under two different dynasties; the Sanjaya dynasty of Hindu faith and the Sailendra dynasty of the Buddhist faith. It was not Java that held the great honor to be the center of Buddhism, but Sumatra where the Buddhism has flourished in 7th century CE. However, there is no great archeological remain being found in Sumatra to mark the ancient glory. It was in Central Java where the great monument of Borobudur, the largest Buddhist monument in the Southeast Asia was a heritage of the Buddhist king of the Sailendra dynasty. The Borobudur temple is one of the seven wanders of the world. In addition to the great Buddhist monument of Borobudur, there is also a heritage of the past glory of the Hindu kingdom where the kings have founded the Prambanan temple complex. Both Hinduism and Buddhism were practiced side by side by the Javanese kings and queens. The glory of Hinduism and Buddhism continued to be the primary faith during the Majapahit kingdom, the most powerful kingdom in the archipelago during 12th CE to the mid of 16th century CE. The gradual penetration of Islam into the archipelago has brought the end of the Hindu kingdom in Java where nowadays about 88% of the Indonesian populations hold Muslim faith. However, there are still some populations of mountainous parts of Java embrace Hindu faith. While in Bali, one of thousand islands in Indonesia, the majority of its populations is practicing Hindu religion and still maintains the caste system even though they are not the same as the Indian systems which are very rigid and strict.  

Candi Prambanan, the Hindu Temple complex in central Java
 
Candi Borobudur, the largest Buddhist monument in Asia

Since the Indonesian government recognized only five official religions, therefore the Indonesian populations have to claim one official religion. In general, the populations of the western parts of Indonesia in present day are mostly practicing Islamic faith, whereas in the eastern parts are practicing unique Christian belief that is almost unknown anywhere else. The government policy in recognizing only five religions has created a very unique phenomena throughout the archipelago for better or worse. Those who were compulsory to hold one official religion and at the same time but still feel compulsory to continue their ancient traditions then they have to combine the two faiths into one tradition which gave birth to a new distinctive religion to their locality. To make it easier to look at the unique amalgamation of the new and old faith in the archipelago, the following classification will help to simplify the complexity of the Death, Burial and the Afterlife in the archipelago.

  1. The Islamic tradition of treating the dead of the loved ones
  2. The amalgamation between the ancestor and animistic beliefs with the Christianity in eastern part of Indonesia. This will include the tradition of the Dayak tribe in Kalimantan, the tradition of Tana Toraja in Sulawesi and tradition of Marapu in Sumba.
  3. The Hindu and Buddhist way of treating the Death, Burial and Afterlife in Bali 
Death, Burial and the Afterlife of the Islamic faith

As it has been known that the majority about 88% of the Indonesian populations are practicing Islamic religion. Indonesia is the biggest Islamic country in the world. The Islamic way of treating death is not very complicated compares to the other religion like Hindu or Christian of the animistic and ancestors worship. When a Muslim died, first the family members of the death report to the imam, the religious leader, and then they will tell the relatives. While waiting for the relatives to come for the funeral, it is a tradition to recite the Al Qu’ran in the mourning house both by the imam and by the relatives. It is Islamic way all over the world to bury the corpse as quickly as possible before the sun down. For normal death, the body is washed and then wrapped in a clean, white shroud. In Javanese tradition the ears, the nose, the mouth of the dead is covered with cotton before being wrapped. Before the sun sets the body should be ready to be buried in the graveyard with the face facing Mecca the holiest place of Islam, where Muhammad the Prophet was believed to be born. After burial, in Javanese tradition the family members will carry out memorial rites to the death of the loved one which is called Selametan after 7 days, 40 days, 100 days and 1000 days of the death.

The after-life of the powerful spiritual people is considered magically powerful.  Since the Islamic religion brought into Indonesia by nine wali known as Wali Songo, therefore, their tombs which are located in different areas of Java considered to be holy and spiritually powerful. These tombs are visited by Javanese on certain days for gaining wangsit (magical whisper) from the spirit of the death. It is a common practice in Java that the Indonesian former presidents like Soeharto, Gus Dur (Abdurrahman Wahid), Megawati Sukarnoputri paid homage to the tombs of their ancestors or to the tomb of holy man.

Death, Burial and the Afterlife of the Christian-animistic ancestors’ worship

The combination of Christian missionary and the Indonesian government has created a new phenomenon to the tribes of Eastern Indonesia. The Indonesian government issued a policy for all Indonesian to claim one official recognized religion. Therefore everybody Indonesia has to hold a new religion although they have had their own belief. For example: before the Christianity penetrated the Torajan people in Sulawesi, people already held their own tradition in treating the death. The Torajan live in the mountain areas in the southern central Sulawesi. Most of them claim that they are practicing Christianity at least in their identity card (KTP). In practice they still continue their traditional religion which believes in the spirits of the ancestors, especially in the rural areas. According to their belief the ancestors can be benign or malign depending on how the living relatives treat their corpse and how they died. The souls of those who had martyr death like accidents, suicide or in childbirth need a special treatment otherwise their souls will become harmful spirits to the living ones. The Torajan people carry out life cycle rites but the most important of all is the funeral. When a person died, the relatives did not bury them right away, but they place the body in a special place in the house. The corpse will be injected with formalin and put it in a wooden coffin. In the past, the body would be laid on the mat in a special room with bamboo pipes under the floor to divert the fluid. While waiting for the corpse to decay the family save some money to buy buffalos and pigs. It costs a lot of money, needs many buffalos, pigs and a lengthy preparation to perform proper funeral rites. For that reason people perform a mass funeral rite together in a big group to reduce the burden of the extravagant expenses. The Torajan people perceive the death as the gradual process rather than an abrupt event. They consider the dead as a sleeping person, sick person, as the one who becomes one of the gods and the last stage after the funeral then they consider them dead. After the funeral rites the body or the skeletons will be buried in the cave or high up inside the wooden coffin and then inserted into the hewn cliff. They bury the body depending on the status of the person, the higher the status the higher the place for burial. But the babies who died before having teeth will be buried or inserted into the trunk of a big living tree. They believe that the babies grow with the tree, since they did not have a chance to grow in this mortal world. The trunk of the tree becomes fat and the first burial gets higher and higher following the growth of the tree. There is no effigy needed for the babies. The wooden effigy resembling their deceased family called tau tau is made after the funeral rite and they place the effigies in front of the hewn cave whose spirits will watch over the living ones.

Other Christianized ancestors worship tribes are the Dayak people of Kalimantan or Borneo and the Sumba people one of the lesser Sunda islands. In the past they both had a head-hunting tradition as one of the completion for the death ritual. Because it seems inhuman to sacrifice the head of a living person, the Indonesian government put that practice into a total halt. Only recently, when there was tribe clashed between the immigrant of Islamic Maduranese and the original tribe Christian Dayak people, that long abandoned head-hunting practices emerged to the surface where one of the Maduraneses had his head chopped off for the death ritual. That event has been a long-lasting conflict between Islamic faith and Christianity. In Sumba island located near the place of komodo dragon, for example, people perpetuate the benign power of their ancestor in the form of marapu which can be visualized as the drawing pattern of the sarong textile or in the form of sacred rock placed in their compound. The word marapu refers to both the compound and the spirit of the dead.

The Hindu and Buddhist way of treating the Death, Burial and Afterlife in Bali

Before Hindu-Buddhism influenced the island of Bali, based on the archeological remains Balinese society have had their own way of treating the dead depending on the social status and rank of the deceased. There are many sarcophagi being found in the port cities of western and northern Bali where it is believed to be the traffic of trading between the hinterlands Balinese with the foreign merchants from India and China. Inside the sarcophagi there were some valuable objects being found as the remark of higher social rank and status. In addition to the sarcophagi burial there are also common burial for common people, but the most interesting burial which is still practiced by the origin of Balinese, the pre-Hindu-Buddhist Balinese society is the exposed burial. The indigenous Balinese where now live separated by mountain ranges across the largest lake of a volcanic mountain of Batur of central Bali do not bury their dead but simply put it under the fragrant tree called Taru Menyan from where they got the name of their village Terunyan. After the corpse decomposed then the skeletons are collected and store them in a cave near the cemetery under the tree.

However, the Balinese society who is influenced by the customs of Hinduism from India through Java follows distinct way to treat the dead from the origin Balinese. They perform cremation known as Ngaben, a very elaborate ritual which cost a lot of money, food, pigs and lengthy preparation. Since performing the ngaben rite cost so much money, there is a temporary burial can be done until the living relatives saved some money to perform a ngaben ceremony. The funerary rite is very fundamental in Balinese society, they believe that those un-cremated souls or the souls who do not receive a proper funerary rite will wander around in the mortal world to afflict disaster not only to the living relatives but also to the whole village people. The Balinese respect their deceased relative elaborately. The Balinese believe that only through the ngaben rite this dead mortal body can be returned to their five original elements that compose each body of the living beings. Those elements are called panca mahabhuta consist of earth, water, fire/light, wind/air, ether or body, blood, sight, breath and head respectively.

Not all people in Bali can afford the ngaben right away after the death, therefore there is also burial ceremony. The burial ceremony must be conducted in proper way, must be on the right day according to the Balinese calendar. If we do not follow the rule to bury the dead just any day, there will be disaster haunt the whole village. If someone dies in a community, the wooden bell will be hit three times to announce the death to community. Then they gather together in the mourning house of the death discuss the next step whether the body will be cremated or buried. The elder of the village who have knowledge of astronomy will pick the day to carry out the ceremony. But the most important thing to be done while someone dies is to apply sandalwood water to the whole body of the dead and put it in the ceremonial room covered with long white cloth hanging to the floor to show that the body has died. The body must be washed properly by the graveyard priest or the Saiva priest from the Brahmin caste. During the bathing, the family members will participate to pay respect and love to their beloved one. The hair must be washed and their genital must be covered with black cloth. After every part of the body considered clean, then the priest will put mirror in two eyes, jasmine buds in the nostrils, steels in the teeth, cotton in the ears. The priest then sprinkle sanctified water to the body while citing mantra. Only after that the dead will be put back in the ceremonial room if it is cremated, but if it is decided to be buried the body will be carried to the cemetery after being washed. The gamelan orchestra will accompany any Balinese ritual including taking the death to their final destination. The pall bearers who are the members of the community will make turn three times in each cross road to the way to the graveyard in order that the soul get lost and do not return to his/her living world. A few days after the burial the family members will bring offering in the form of foods, drinks to the graveyard. This burial rite is considered incomplete until there is a ngaben ceremony performed years later when the family have enough money to do so.

In addition to burial and cremation, there is also exposed cemetery where people just lie the body in an open area to let the body decomposed by nature gradually. The body will stay there till it becomes skeleton, then the skeletons will be collected in a cave.

Exposed burial in Trunyan village accross the lake Batur

 

Monday, February 11, 2013

Peranan Kerudung bagi Wanita Hindu dan Muslim


an Hindu woman in Aligarh, India


Bagaimana wanita harus menutup kepala mereka dengan kerudung yang diistilahkan purdah untuk wanita Hindu dan burkah untuk wanita Muslim di India dan jilbab bagi wanita di Indonesia. Secara umum wanita Hindu di India yang juga berlaku bagi wanita Indonesia yang masih mentaati tradisi lama dimana wanita disarankan dan diharapkan untuk mengikuti aturan tertentu seperti misalnya bertingkah laku sederhana, bicara lemah lembut, gerakan yang anggun. Wanita sebaiknya tampil malu, menghindari tatap mata secara langsung dengan lawan jenis, tak bicara keras-keras apalagi terbahak-bahak. Dianggap tak sopan kalau berbicara dengan lawan jenis apalagi laki-laki yang tak punya hubungan kekerabatan dengan wanita tersebut.

Menurut tradisi lama di India, wanita Hindu hendaknya berada di dalam rumah dan tidak mencampuri urusan laki-laki. Seorang istri muda tidaklah layak memperlihatkan rasa cintanya terhadap suaminya. Kalau sedang berbicara dengan suaminya atau dengan laki-laki lain di keluarganya maka demi kesopanan mereka harus menutupi mulut dengan tangan atau kain purdahnya. Baik laki-laki maupun wanita punya tempat terpisah baik dalam keluarga maupun di luar rumah. Misalnya laki-laki tidur berpisah dengan perempuan kecuali lelaki tersebut harus menunaikan tugasnya sebagai suami.

Istri muda punya hak yang sangat terbatas di dalam keluarga suaminya namun punya kewajiban yang sangat banyak. Istri muda harus memakai kerudung di hadapan anggota keluarga lainnya terlebih-lebih di hadapan anggota keluarga yang berlainan jenis. Pemakaian kerudung sedikit berkurang di hadapan anggota keluarga sesame jenis (ibu mertua, kakak atau adik ipar perempuan) apabila perannya sebagai istri telah terpenuhi dengan melahirkan anak pertama. Pasangan muda diharapkan untuk tidak banyak terlibat langsung di dalam percakapan langsung di depan umum. Keterbatasan hak bagi istri muda juga terjadi pada masyarakat Hindu maupun Islam di Indonesia terutama keluarga yang mengikuti pola patrilinial. Bedanya wanita Hindu di Indonesia terutama di Bali, mereka tidak harus memakai kerudung dalam kehidupannya sehari-hari.

Wanita hendaknya tidak keluar rumah tanpa ijin dari anggota keluarga yang lebih tua atau wanita harus ditemani oleh anggota keluarga laki-laki kalau harus keluar rumah. Kalaupun wanita harus bekerja di luar rumah maka wanita itu harus tetap mempertahankan nilai tradisinya. Mereka harus menutup wajah mereka dengan purdah terlebih-lebih ketika didekati oleh pegawai laki-laki. Tugas berbelanja biasanya dilakukan oleh laki-laki, dan kalau wanita harus berbelanja maka mereka harus menutup wajah sepenuhnya.

Wanita India tidak banyak mengambil peran dalam melaksanakan upacara, peran keagamaan lebih dominant dilakukan oleh laki-laki. Di tempat-tempat pemujaan yang disebut mandir dijaga dan dilayani oleh kaum Brahmana laki-laki. Sedangkan wanita Hindu Bali punya perang yang sangat penting di dalam pelaksanaan upacara keagamaan. Tanpa terlibatnya kaum wanita upacara kemungkinan besar tidak dapat dilaksanakan. Hal ini disebabkan oleh wanitalah yang tahu seluk beluk bagaimana membuat sesajen yang sangat rumit dan banyak, maka dari itu tanpa wanita upacara tak kan berlangsung. Jadi peran wanita Hindu di Bali bias dikatakan hamper setara dengan peran kaum lelaki dalam hal kelangsungan upacara keagamaan. Memang ada batasan yang membedakan peran dan tugas para wanita dan laki-laki.

Para istri yang dianggap membawa bencana sekalian berkah bagi keluarga si suami. Secara kenyataan memang seorang istri harus membawa “mas kawin” yang berupa tanah, mobil, rumah, segala keperluan penganten baru (jika keluarga si wanita kaya). Kalau keluarga si wanita miskin atau keluarga si suami serakah, tidak jarang ada berita yang mengabarkan adanya pembunuhan penganten wanita dengan cara dibuatnya wanita seperti kecelakaan bahwa sarinya terkena api ketika sedang memasak di dapur.  Dengan terbunuhnya penganten wanita maka si laki-laki kemungkin besar akan mendapatkan “mas kawin” lebih banyak lagi kalau dia menikah lagi dengan wanita yang lebih kaya dari istri pertamanya. Masalah “mas kawin” tidak berlaku bagi masyarakat Hindu di Bali, walaupun baik di Bali maupun India keduanya mengenal system kawin yang diatur oleh orang-tua.

Ada sanksi-sanksi yang sangat keras terhadap wanita yang melanggar ketentuan atau yang berlawanan dengan tradisis lama. Para tetangga akan menggosipkan para wanita yang tidak menikah, janda terlebih-lebih janda muda. Janda di India tidak diperkenankan untuk menikah apabila suaminya telah meninggal. Janda tersebut mesti memakai sari atau pakaian putih dan tidak diperkenankan memakai perhiasan. Maka kalau di India kita tahu kalau seorang wanita yang mamakai sari putih maka dia sudah tak bersuami lagi. Yang lebih fenomenal adalah jika seorang istri yang ditinggal mati oleh suaminya memantapkan niatnya untuk mengadakan satya dengan cara menceburkan diri ke kobaran api pengabenan suaminya, dengan pertimbangan bahwa lebih baik mati ikut suami daripada harus menjalani hidup yang dikungkung tradisi, terhina dan dituduh sebagai penyebab kematian suami. Sati yang baru-baru ini dilaporkan dalam berita dilakukan pada tahun 1985 oleh seorang wanita muda sekitar 18 tahun bernama Roop Kanwar. Kini di tempat dilakukan sati didirikan semacam candi untuk orang yang percaya bahwa roh seorang Sati bias memberikan penugrahan. Tuduhan sebagai penyebab kematian si suami juga dipercaya oleh masyarakat Hindu di Bali. Hal ini berdasarkan bukti tertulis berbentuk puisi maupun prosa dapat ditelusuri jauh ke jaman lampau pada masa pemerintahan Raja Erlangga (abad ke 10-11 CE) di mana si Janda dari Dirah (Rangda ing Dirah) telah dituduh membunuh suaminya dengan cara teluh (semacam ilmu hitam). Bedanya di Bali para janda tidak harus memakai pakain warna putih setelah ditinggal mati suamnya, atau istri tidak harus melakukan Sati (Bahasa Bali: mesatya) jika suaminya meninggal. Kasus terakhir praktek sati di Bali  dilakukan pada jaman kerajaan pada tahun 1930-an yang dilakukan oleh kaum kesatriya atau istri para raja. Akhirnya penjajah Belanda (1896-1946) melarang pelaksanaan Sati di Bali.

Seorang istri yang dianggap membawa bencana ke dalam keluarga si suami tidak jarang akan mendapat perlakuan kasar secara fisik dari si suami atau disiksa secara verbal oleh anggota keluarga yang perempuan. Wanita akan benar-benar merasa tertekan apabila mereka tidak mendapatkan keturunan setelah menikah bertahun-tahun. Tak jarang akan dicarikan madu atau dipulangkan ke rumah orang-tua mereka tanpa menyandang status yang jelas. Para menantu muda belajar dan meniru perlakuan ibu-mertua mereka di mana kemungkinan besar telah memendam rasa benci, jengkel dan tak kuasa bagaikan bom waktu. Suatu saat ketika setelah cukup kuasa dan mandiri dari pengaruh mertua rasa dendam tersebut akan keluar diledakkan pada para menantu mereka, dengan alas an untuk mempertahan status, tradisi, kekayaan keluarga.

Kenapa Wanita harus memakai Purdah?

Menurut Mendelbaum, ada dua alasan utama kenapa wanita harus memakai purdah yaitu menghindari bahaya yang mengancam wanita ketika sedang keluar rumah dan menghidari bahaya dari anggota keluarga wanita dalam lingkungan keluarga itu sendiri. Bahaya pertama yaitu bahaya yang datangnya dari laki-laki di luar lingkungan keluarga karena merupakan hal yang lumrah kalau laki-laki bias saja berbuat yang tak senono terhadap wanita yang bepergian sendirian apalagi pria itu tak kenal dengan wanita tersebut. Laki-laki tidak akan sembarangan berbuat jahat terhadap wanita di lingkungan yang dikenalnya. Bahaya kedua yaitu bahaya yang dating dari wanita dalam lingkungan rumah itu sendiri. Hal tersebut disebabkan karena factor kekuasaan, kecemburuan dari wanita yang telah lebih lama menjadi anggota keluarga di dalam keluarga si suami. Apakah itu ibu mertua, adik atau kakak ipar perempuan semua merasa tersaingi oleh kedatangan penganten wanita dalam keluarga mereka. Mereka kwatir jangan-jangan kasih saying anaknya tertumpah hanya pada istrinya. Pemakaian purdah sangat penting terlebih-lebih jika menghadapi mertua laki-laki atau anggota keluarga laki-laki yang lain. Istri muda tidak boleh mengadakan kontak mata dengan ayah mertua, sehingga purdah merupakan alat yang paling efektif untuk menutupi wajah ketika sedang berhadapan dengan ipar laki-laki atau ayah mertua. Ayah mertua semestinya tidak boleh memasuki kamar menantunya, walaupun itu terjadi dimana ayah mertua didapati sedang berada di kamar menantu dengan apapun alasannya, si menantu tidak punya hak untuk memarahi mertuanya. Menjadi tugas ibu mertua, si istri yang berhak memberi pelajaran bagi mertua yang lancing masuk ke kamar menantu wanita.

Sudah barang tentu bahwa meneruskan keturunan adalah factor utama diadakan pernikahan walaupun wacana ini tidak berlaku bagi seluruh negeri di dunia. Para istri dianggap sebagai perusak atau pembawa berkah bagi keluarga si suami atau dianggap sebagai penerus garis patrilinial. Kehormatan ada di tangan wanita, seandainya laki-laki sukses dalam perkawinan, usaha maka si istri dianggap sebagai Laksmi tetapi kalau si istri membawa sial bagi keluarga si lelaki maka si istrilah yang dipersalahkan. Kurang puasa, kurang bakti terhadap suami atau yang lebih menyakitkan akan dituduh sebagai orang yang mempraktikkan ilmu hitam dan mengorbankan si suami atau anggota keluarga lain sebagai tumbal atas ilmu hitamnya. Walaupun keluarga si suami sukses dalam segala hal, tetapi ada anak perempuan dalam keluarga tidak mendapatka jodoh sampai umur tertentu atau gagal mendapatkan suami yang layak maka hal itu juga dianggap sial, jadi keluarga suami tetap dipandang tak terhormat.

Purdah bagi wanita Hindu, Burkah bagi wanita Islam

Di India baik wanita Hindu maupun wanita Islam keduanya mesti memakai kerudung yang keduanya disebut purdah. Burkah di Indonesia hanya dipakai oleh kaum wanita Muslim dan namanyapun telah disesuaikan dengan kata Arab yaitu jilbab. Menurut kepercayaan lama bahwa wanita berada di bawah kekuasaan kaum lelaki, maka dari itu kaum wanita setuju untuk menutupi diri di hadapan laki-laki. Wanita harus tertutup dari interaksi dunia luar, kecuali orang yang bekerja di tempat terhormat seperti menjadi anggota DPR atau MPR, menjadi guru dianggap kurang terhormat.

Walaupun baik wanita Hindu maupun wanita Muslim memakai kerudung namun wanita Muslim lebih disiplin di dalam pemakaian kerudung karena mentaati ketentuan agama, di dalam Al Quran disebutkan bahwa pemakaian burkah adalah kehidupan sejati wagi wanita Muslim. Sedangkan wanita Hindu memakai kerudung untuk melindungi diri dari bahaya luar maupun dalam rumah dan lebih mengatasnamakan kepatuhan kepada suami atau pativrata. Sepertinya tradisi pemakaian purdah bagi wanita Hindu di India tidak mempengaruhi wanita Hindu di Bali atau Indonesia. Wanita Hindu di Bali memang tidak harus memakai pudah tetapi tradisi yang lain yang sangat mendasar tetap ada yang dipakai sebagai acuan dalam kehidupan dalam masyarakat Hindu. Seperti misalnya, wanita harus bias bikin banten, bias memasak, melahirkan anak, hormat terhadap orang-tua dan anggota keluarga lain dan siap untuk menjadi anggota keluarga si suami sekalian menjadi anggota resmi (krama banjar) di masyarakat dimana mereka tinggal. Wanita Hindu di Bali telah dibentuk oleh budaya dan tradisi local walaupun pengaruh Hindu India masih terasa dalam hal bagaimana si menantu wanita menjadi sasaran segala kesalahan yeng terjadi dalam keluarga si suami. Masih tetap sama dimana keluarga yang melahirkan anak perempuan dianggap kurang menguntungkan disbanding dengan anak laki-laki.

Kebebasan yang terbatas dengan tingkah laku yang dipolakan

Baik wanita Muslim maupun wanita Hindu mempunyai ruang gerak, kegiatan, hubungan social, ruang lingkup maupun kesempatan yang terbatas. Betapapun orang bilang bahwa tak ada perbedaan antara anak laki dan perempuan, tetapi pada kenyataannya anak laki jauh lebih banyak kebebasannya dalam banyak hal. Dilihat dari tradisi berpakaian anak perempuan diharapkan memakai pakaian yang membatasi gerak-gerik mereka. Kain tradisional Jawa dan Bali dan pakaian di beberapa daerah di Indonesia sangat mengekang langkah perempuan. Sedangkan pemakaian purdah selain memberi identitas tersendiri bagi pemeluk Muslim yang soleh, juga dianggap symbol keterbatasan kaum wanita. Wanita tidak leluasa memperlihatkan milik terutama aurat mereka.

Wanita dengan Perubahan Sosial dan Modernisasi
Lately there are many young women wearing jeans without veil